Maybe when we were created, (if we were created ha) we were made with two pieces of soul. then something happened and our soul were separated and sent far away, hidden, lost and communications cut off. But it's our soul! Its what makes up human, it's what we're send in this world to find. It might be a side mission to our destiny, but it makes up a hella big ass portion of our quest log. What does that mean then? does it mean that we can't finish our destinies without a full soul? No, it just means that we can't fully live our lives until we've 100% completed our missions (ha sounds like a game).
I guess, maybe, somehow, in this messed up world, I might have found my soul-mate, yet I can't be sure. It's only my first, I don't know what real love is, but all I know is the feelings I feels are not fake. It's funny how things come into your mind randomly as some other info would trigger another thought. But I realized it, last night. It shock me, left me wondering, as if i understood the world from a new perspective. Only wish it'll last.
Ha soul-mate, a cracked half of our soul, always searching for the other part. It's been 20 years, maybe it's a bit early to say it, but it could be true. (sad I can't tell if it is, I guess no one really can... Idea: Soul mate measurer haha) Its when we hug that truly makes me wonder... I guess it could be just affection, but we squeeze ourselves closer to each other, almost as if our souls are magnets trying to complete itself but our physical bodies prevent all contacts. Maybe heaven isn't really a place where angel, god and people live, but a metaphor for when 2 pieces of a soul collide and continues on as one full soul. What happiness would that be. You've found the one thing you've been searching for from the dawn of life. Maybe death is an answer, not a escape, but rather life is. (sounds emo as foooookkkk) Death, a new definition, an escape from our physical prison.
CASA applications are due tonight... I want to run for president and vice president, but I don't know what I should run for. People tell me to run, cause casa needs me. But why do they need me? what can i do on board that i can't do when i'm a GA? It was a question that i asked myself and can't find an answer for and to this moment i still can't. I don't know what i can do differently... I thought of doing less (haha) and tell them I can do more for casa, but when it comes to me, when i'm already so dedicated to casa without being on board, what can i do? I wonder sometimes if my dedication will bring me automatically into a board position, but it won't. My speech (ha what a joke) was horrible last year... i've talked joining casa for a girl, wow what a mistake that was. I guess i took it all as a joke, thinking i was going to get in no matter what... What a dumb decision that was.
well this year is different, i've grown and i've learned. My speech (haha) is well... more or less jokes... although i haven't written it yet... i know it will be more a humorous than serious... Cause that's who i am. And this interview is just a game. a game where you're trying to sell yourself... sell your image to the people who are making the decisions. Lies, not honesty will give u the upper edge. We live is a FUCKEN world where lies and not the truth gives the upper advantage. Where the fuck is all the honest people? On the streets, dead or buried under lies so deep that they can't tell a honest sentence from a lie.
I won't lie, No I definitely won't lie, it's not worth it. I don't need to make myself look perfect to become a president. Cause no one is. We all have flaws, don't think that with flaws you can't be good at something you love.
I will run for casa though, i'll run because it's something i'm doing for myself, and I know i will stay dedicated because it's something i love and something that no one else told me to love. I'm not doing it for others, but rather to help casa grow, to help myself grow. I'm not doing it for my parents (hell if they care), i'm not doing it for friends, and i'm not doing it because some retards are on board right now. Hell I lost last year to a fucken loser... well i guess thats just how life goes. But then again, looking positively, I hope this experience shows the world how horrible this person is. But he will get his way with his life, because CASA's no government, it won't ruin his life... I've lost to this loser... I've let competition get me... I've lost... but i've also learned. And this year will be a success.
Lots of stuff happened, MAASU is over... i guess i should be glad that i don't have to work under horrible management, but it was fun. Meeting Clara Chung and having her know my name for a short while is well a honor. Haha what a clever little girl, memorizing people's names certainly have a positive effect on the other people's lives.
It's too bad that MAASU's over but there will be more fun in the future :) and I look forward to it.
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